where the heart is

I went out tonight with a couple of friends.
Dressed up all cute..Lisa did my hair.

Went to the pub which I cant stand.
Got to inhale lots of 2nd hand smoke
and get hit on by a couple of drunk douches.

I nursed my vodka tonic knowing muscle pump was at 9am
didnt want to dehydrate my muscles.

What am oddball I am. I guarantee no one in this bar is thinking
about their "Dehydrated muscles"
except me.

As the night progressed I wanted nothing more than to be home
doing what I always do.
that one thing..or maybe those things...
what ever that is.
Just not this.

I looked around at everyone.
Nothing is impressing me in this place.
The glazed over glances, crooked smiles with tobacco stained teeth
cheap one liners, plates full of greasy bar food,
the couple thats been married 23 yrs who still goes and gets shitfaced together after all that time.
Now THAT is love, or something.

I have nothing in common with anyone here.
This is not my place, not my people.
Sure if someone fell over dead I would administer CPR
but I dont want to come over for a BBQ next SAT
or have you take me out to dinner.

Nor do I want to go to IHOP or Waffle House with my friends!
Eww
Maybe Im a food/nutrition snob
who knows.

I feel out of sorts. Where do I belong? Is there a slot I fit neatly into?


I got home, made Ali a bottle, woke her up and fed her.
I smelled her hair the whole time and rubbed my lips on her head.

Yes, this is the place.
This is that one thing that I do. Where I belong.
This is home.